This is artistic work of fiction – Names, characters, places and events are the imagination of the writer. Any resemblance between these characters and real teams is purely coincidental.
ADMIN: Hello Guys, hope everyone received the Prize money for the 2019/20 season.
MYDA: Which money?
Wakiso: @MYDA, sit down. You were in Big League last season.
ADMIN: FUFA Finance Department effected payments for the 16 Clubs who took part in the StarTimes Uganda Premier League 2019/20 season as prize monies.
Tooro: Sh0.5M! Is that what you call money?
(Admin removes Tooro, Proline and Maroons)
(Admin adds UPDF)
Police: I got Sh2.2M. I mean, we toil the whole season for such quids!
Vipers: @Police, Who told you to finish that low? That aside, the Sh60M I got for winning the league is not even enough to pay my whole squad and staff for one month.
Bright Stars: Something needs to be done.
Mbarara: Magogo is the problem, I have always told you guys.
Magogo: @Mbarara, You can do better than this. But anyway, you haven’t lived in the top flight for so long. Try to find out how much these clubs were receiving when I came into office.
KCCA: @Magogo is right, it was worse. This is a journey, and I believe we are taking the right direction.
Bright Stars: @KCCA, @URA Its because you got some heavy funding from your respective government entities.
Magogo: However little as it may look, we believe it will help the clubs during the offseason as they plan for the forthcoming coming season.
Kyetume: Beside the little Prize money, Mr President, when is the Covid19 Relief funds coming to our accounts?
Magogo: We will communicate when the right time comes.
Villa: @Kyetume: You are looking for money to up the sign-on fee to give to Bernard Muwanga.. Hahaha???
Express: @Villa, what are you saying, at least Kyetume is trying to sign players. But you are comfortably waiting for trials, as players leave.
Villa: @Express, Its true, but at least I don’t threaten to take teams to court when they sign my out-of-contract players!
Wakiso: Hohoho. alemidu lesidu…
ADMIN: Guys stop it
Onduparaka: The FUFA Prize Money is so little. It cannot be enough to transport even the team to Kampala from Arua.
Vipers: @Onduparaka, by the way, how far with your new bus? When is it coming?
Onduparaka: @Vipers, How is that your concern?
Magogo: That is why we put this Clubs Pro Agenda in place so that you are helped to reengineer your technical and business processes and also focus on long term development.
BUL: Whatever you say, you cannot tell me that we finished sixth only to get Sh4.5M. So so little.
Magogo; It’s little, yes, and I understand the challenges you go through. But there is also the StarTimes package as well.
KCCA: We receive Sh70M from StarTimes, which is some good money at least, which was not the case in the past years.
Magogo: I will go on record again that we are the most successful football administration in the history of Uganda. We are supported by statistics and results.
Kyetume: @UPDF, keep quiet. Proline-in-disguise.
KCCA: Hohoho… But why!
Magogo: like I said, I want you to always focus on investing more money, so that you can become self sustaining. There are move avenues you can get funds like the way KCCA has sold Mustafa Kizza.
Busoga: Ssebo KCCA tuwe ku Ssente za Kizza.
KCCA: Ku za Madondo nga tewatuwa?
Busoga: I wasn’t involved in that deal. Someone here can explain. ??♂️??♂️??♂️
KCCA: By the way guys, let’s put Derrick Nsibambi in our players, he contracted Covid19 recently.
Wakiso: @Magogo, when are you returning the nomination forms? I saw you are seriously entering politics.
Magogo: That’s why I am entering Parliament, to try and lobby more money for Sports, Work on the modern Sports law, advocate for Sports facilities among others…
UPDF: You have our full support??????????
Wakiso: @UPDF, You have to support him, he dismissed the Ndejje Petition after all.
Kyetume: Guys, help me with Tom Ikara’s contact.
Vipers: Ask @KCCA or @Mbarara
URA: @Kyetume: What do you want with Ikara’s contact?
Kyetume: @URA, stay in your lane
BUL: Its 1-1.
MYDA: By the way, allow me also to thank FUFA, finally, we were also taken through the Clubs Pro Agenda. But we had to incur costs all the way from Malaba to Mengo.
Express: Were you cleared of Covid19? Hehehe you should be quarantined.
Onduparaka: Did Magogo really explain the disparity in prize money or he just played on our brains?
What Happens next? Check us out next Sunday