Disclaimer:
This is artistic work of fiction – Names, characters, places and events are the imagination of the writer. Any resemblance between these characters and real teams is purely coincidental.
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ADMIN: Hey, hope you guys have received the stadium inspection report.
Kitara: Not yet
ADMIN: It has been sent on all your emails.
Mbarara: @Admin, just share it here as well.
ADMIN: Stadium Report (PDF)
MYDA: ??♂️??♂️??♂️??♂️??♂️
Villa: ?????
BUL: Can someone explain to me why Bugembe was not passed?
ADMIN: Its been classified as grade four, hence it will not host UPL games. @BUL You are advised to look elsewhere before the deadline.
BUL: @ADMIN, Just answer my question. Why wasn’t it passed.
Mbarara: But we have done all the necessary work at Kakyeka.
Wakiso: Including allowing Bobi Wine launch his manifesto at the stadium??♀️??♀️??♀️
BUL: How were stadiums like St George (Tororo) and Greenlight pass ahead of Bugembe?
Onduparaka: Alooo, go slow!
Vipers: Meanwhile, at Kitende, we don’t accept groundshare.
Wakiso: Same here at Kabaka Kyabaggu.
Villa: ????
Express: We will accept anyone but Villa??♀️??♀️??♀️
(ADMIN Removes Busoga)
(ADMIN Removes Kitara)
KCCA: What’s going on?
Police: Why were Busoga and Kitara removed.
ADMIN: They have not fulfilled the licensing requirements.
Express: Christ!
Kyetume: @Express, tuwe Ku ssente za Betway. Ndabye endagano bagiziza bujja.
ADMIN: @Kyetume use English please.
Onduparaka: @ADMIN, Bring back Busoga and Kitara
Bright Stars: Bring Back Busoga and Kitara
ADMIN: We will bring them back after they fulfil the mandatory requirements. They have until today evening!
Wakiso: Mutufusuze bubi.
Vipers: Nyooo. I mean, they can’t allow me get back any of my players at Uganda Hippos. At least they should have given me Bobosi Byaruhanga as we prepare for Al Hilal.
Mbarara: FUFA isn’t doing us any justice. They should let us play at our home grounds.
Kyetume: True. Tubadde mu struggle.
Villa: Seconded. Been working on my new jersey of late. I thought Bombo would pass the inspection with flying colours.
UPDF: FUFA FUFA FUFA!!!!
Wakiso: Meanwhile, you should all go to Njeru. Its free.
ADMIN: Draft UPL Fixture (PDF)
ADMIN: Kindly receive the Uganda Premier League fixture ??????
Kyetume: Guys are serious, no Kitara and Busoga on the fixture
URA: Its just a draft???
Bright Stars: We start with KCCA at home, Oyo tumusobola??????
KCCA: @Bright Stars, Now that you have no where to host from, can we offer you Lugogo?
Bright Stars: ??♀️??♀️??♀️
Vipers: A game on November 3? Yet we have Al Hilal return leg on 4th? But what’s wrong with you?
KCCA: @Vipers, stop over complaining. Tewali yakutuma yo mu CAF.
Villa: ????
Vipers: @KCCA and @Villa, lay low like an envelope
ADMIN: @Vipers, inform us in writing if you want your game rescheduled.
BUL: @ADMIN, Stop showing double standards, why was Bugembe not passed?
Wakiso: Bring back Busoga and Kitara….
ADMIN: (typing)
Villa: (recording audio)
What Next? Till next time…..